The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
