shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
