Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
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