birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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