Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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