similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Randomize
