Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
