I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
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