i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
