she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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