i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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