This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize
