i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I just want to make out with him forever
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
