she was so not down for the gang bang
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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