Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
