its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
