We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
