Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
