I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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