she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
