Bisexual people are plain selfish.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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