Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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