First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
