My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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