...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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