I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
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