I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
