This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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