dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
