Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
