Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
