dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
