I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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