forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I just cut my nipple shaving
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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