Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
