I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
What a dumb baby whore.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
