nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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