I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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