I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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