You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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