I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize