is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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