I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
