I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
We left the knife in your bed.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
