I accidentally had phone sex last night
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
