saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
