i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
