I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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