So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
