There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
